Way back in 1906, a band of Pirates under the command of Captain Jehosephat T. Gravel (ancestor of the current presidential candidate Mike Gravel) were conducting routine raids of a brothel, a rum storage room and an opium den simultaneously. The Pirates that were supposed to carry off the women decided that it would be much easier if they were drunk first, and snuck into the rum storage room for a quick gulp or ten.
 
It was at this point that the Pirates who were supposed to steal the rum crashed through the doorway (they were stoned on opium from an unrelated raid and unable to grasp the doorknob to facilitate quiet entry), saw the dim shadows of several heavily armed people, and thought it was a trap. The ensuing combat resulted in more than 30 Pirate fatalities, 14 broken rum kegs and a large fire that destroyed more than half the underground tunnels in Portland.
 
When Gravel saw the flames from the deck of his vessel (the captured-and-repainted HMS IreallyhatePirates, now known as the SS Edward VII Can Blow Me), he knew that his Pirates had once again caused more damage than his insurance could cover. Seeking to cut his losses, and knowing that his Pirates would almost certainly be rounded up and hanged, Gravel sought out a slaver in the remains of the Shanghai Tunnels to purchase a new crew, and skeedatle before dawn.
 
It is here that the tale of the expungment of Pirates from the tunnels occurs. Gravel purchased 50 unconscious and drugged men, three conscious but very irritable donkeys and a pet llama from a man known only as Mr. Hashitani, but paid him in confederate bills (left over from Gravels brief stint in gunrunning in the late 19th century). Mr. Hashitani was thought to have magical powers, as well as a legion of subterranean allies called Morlocks at his side. Gravels crew was repossessed (except for the Llama), his ship sank and Gravel strung up in retaliation. From that day forth, Pirates have steered clear of the tunnels except for the occasional visit to the brothel, and a few assorted trips to retrieve the bodies of some of the more popular Pirates.

more:

Pirates go underground!

Poop-flinging Monkey saves the day!

Where did our (current) historian come from?

Where is the Pirate Captain?

Flagship named in honor of Militia Commander?!?

Bare Asses of the Isle of Sauvie

Photos and blogs from the most recent Plunderathon!