Every July 11for 166 years without fail, We Pirates have raided the town of Port-Land in revenge for the acts of Lawyerly lawyerness by a lawyer on that sad day all those rum-soaked years ago when a slimy, rotten, evil lawyer SCREWED We Pirates out of our rightful share of the city.

Thus each year, We Pirates rampage around demanding rum, firing cannons, wenching, shivering timbers and generally lowering the property value of the fair town of Port-Land. Over the last 166 years, some places have seriously wronged the Pirate Horde, and have been permanently placed on the list of victims who recieve special torment. After these places are burned to the ground, we come back the next year and victimize whoever has built a new business on that spot. Fortunately for us Pirates, most people tend to build bars and strip clubs on the site of our old victims, so even if we are raiding a bar that opened last year, there is a lot of history behind it. History, dead bodies and quite often several Pirates who snuck behind the place to wench and bugger their hearts out before returning to the plunder.

This event be "family-friendly" in the same manner that a live cage match between a hog-tied landlubber and a hungry mountain lion be. We Pirates don't really care if ye landlubbery types have yer little shipmonkeys removed by the militia and placed in therapy for a few decades, but the court system be takin' a bleak view o' parental landlubbers who be too mind-bogglingly stupid to realize that they should not bring kids to events that are run by a group called "Drunken Rampage," feature sex-toy-launching apparatuses and routinely wind up in porn shops at some point. We Pirates be not "cute" nor "fun" in the Disney sense o' the word, more like the "ow! Topless Piratess with a bullwhip just drew blood! What the? Put that dow . . . OW! HELP! POLICE! These Pirates are . . . where are you going to put that. . . OH MY GOD THAT HURTS! ! ! Why are you feeding rum to the . . . is that a human hand? What are those three Pirates doing in that alleyway without pants? Where on earth did you get a live emu? " kind o' way.