Logo, Bitches! This text appears because you kicked puppies a lot in a previous life

The Weekend of Hell - Urban Iditarod, Brides of March, the DLAF and the Shamrock Run are all in the same 48 hour period. If you are still standing at the end, you are a god. Here is info on Brides:


The Brides of March starts at 2pm March 12, but the location is not yet determined. This is a Caco event, so check with the Cacophony Society for details.

---This is a note for certain insecure guys: the genetalia police won't confiscate your penis for wearing a dress. You won't turn gay, grow tits or spontaniously develop a deep appreciation for Oprah's talk show. If you are too big a pussy to get over this, then really you are too lame for ... well, any of these events. Go to meetup.com or something, stop surfing here. ----

--- Another note on dress colors: Watching dozens of people in white dresses run around having group weddings to various pieces of art is strange. People who think they are being "individualistic" and wearing black wedding dresses or, well, anything at all other than a regular wedding dresses do not come across as individuals, or artistic, or creative. They come across as douches. ---

 

Simple concept: Get a bridal dress from a thrift store or something. A white one. If you don't show up in a white dress, you ain't coming along, you AIN'T COMING ALONG. If you bring a friend or a date or some stalkers, and they are not wearing a wedding dress, THEY AIN'T COMING ALONG. No wedding photographers, grooms, bridesmaids, caterers, etc. If all else fails, a white skirt and top, some random lacy bits tied on, and some flowers will fit the bill nicely.

Then just go with the flow. You will be group-wedded to various public art installations as the day goes on (see our Divorce Lawyers page for help undoing these nuptuals).

Carry a hangover kit, some cash, ID and probably some condoms, a shovel, five boxes of onion rings and a tri-met pass. Most people bring flowers, random wedding props and so on. If any couples wish to have a real, actual wedding during this event please fill out the contact form and let us know so a) we can tell you what a completely horrible mistake it is, and b) make sure that we have an actual real-life clergyperson along to help you make a really, really bad mistake.

This one is done by the Cacophony Society. Blame them for the stains and broken coxyx. The rest is your fault.

Saturday March 12, Pioneer square. And really we are not joking about the white dress thing; if you are not wearing white you will simply be booted out just like the three or for twits that try it each year.

 


July 30 - the 168th Annual PLUNDERATHON!