Logo, Bitches! This text appears because you kicked puppies a lot in a previous life

--- Dave The Great is a tool who never reads the website even when he bribes me with booze to update it. The proof of this is the fact that he has not deleted this paragraph. Because he is a tool. -----

 

We are not trying to be snobs, we just don't have that much room in the moonbounce, hot tub, maze or building. We pretty much do the guest list a year in advance and while we would LIKE to have all you strange people show up in your lingerie, we just . . . can't. See you in February.

-DaveTheGreat

 

- - - --- from the web guy (AKA DrunkMunky)--- - - -

Since I have been getting dozen of emails each year for the last several years, I am just going to put this disclaimer here and hope the boss is too lazy to read the website updates. Which is a pretty fucking likely bet. He never read last year's page for this event and I am pretty sure he never read the year before's either.

Yes, it's a bunch of elitist crap and snobby holier-than-though wankers who have a huge waiting list and a tiny guest list. But I can't help you so please stop emailing me. This party is held in a place that the Fire Marshall wants to shoot people in the kneecap for entering, so even if they wanted to make exceptions, they can't.

It's hectic, debaucherous, absurd, childish and pretty much what you would get if you took Michael Jackson's ranch, removed the children and added in a well-stocked open bar. Yes, this event has led to more than a few broken relationships for dR staffers, but that's probably for the best as we should not breed anyway. For the good of humanity. And like all Drunken Rampage events, there is no cover charge (though donations of cash, booze and whatever else strikes your fancy are strongly encouraged. There will be a bucket for them or something).

For those who really for some odd reason care what goes on: they take a loft downtown that used to be a factory, fill it with a moonbounce ("bouncy castle" for you west coasters), hang a swingset from the rafters, stick a hot tub in courtyard, and force everyone to wear pajamas even if they are only there for a couple minutes. This can be anything from sexy lace things to fluffy footie pajamas. Then they jump off the balcony into the moonbounce, hit each other with pillows, strip down and flop into the hot tub, and then forget where they left their pajamas so they grab a new set off the rack (there are about 50 sets on-hand for people who forget to wear them, or try to find some pussy excuse to get out of wearing something rather silly).

Sometimes flaming things fly into the sky, sometimes inflatable weapons are passed around, often there is a lot of absinthe involved and at some point everyone decides to go invade some nearby place (Every. Single. Time. it's not a planned thing, it just happens for some reason and we are all curious as to why) and generally crash some other event before deciding it's more fun to soak in a hot tub while watching your friends do backflips in a giant childrens' playstructure.

It usually breaks up around noon the next day, when the survivors stumble out for breakfast at Mother's bistro or the Roxy, depending on the calendar.

Another thing that happens every year is we get hate mail. Lots of it. Some from people who are pissed we are not throwing a public event, some are entitlement whores who feel they have an inalienable right to attend because dR is somehow obligated to entertain them or because they have nice tits, and sometimes we even get email from religious puritanical people who say we are going to hell because of all the nudity, occasional sex acts and indiscriminate use of brain-altering chemistry (we really love those letters. Churchladies of the world, please keep sending them. It warms the cockles of our heart and gives us laugh fodder for the rest of the year. I think I will frame some of the better ones and put them on display).

We also get people trying to bribe their way in with booze, naked photos, vague promises of sexual favors and so on (same stuff happens with the Leeo party). Those requests are hard to cope with, because one of our core rules is that we are entirely corruptible and bribery is not just allowed, it is flat-out encouraged. Sadly, it does still boil down to the fact that there are only so many people that this century-old building when there is a giant inflatable castle, hot tub, swingset, pillow fort and maze crammed in there. And the booze, of course.

So the short version of all that rant: the party is awesome, and we would invite you all if we could, but we can't. To get on the guest list, you need to be vouched for, be personal friends of ours or start volunteering to help run events now, which should get you an invite to the 2011/2012 Zero-G NYE.]


The next event is Zero-G NYE
 

 

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The dR logo and most of the other artwork on this site was contributed pro-bono by Kaebel and Benja.